Strategies to Maintain Composure During Family Gatherings during Holidays

The "Most Wonderful Time of the Year" - also known as that month and a half from Thanksgiving to New Year's - is here. And to some, this is the best time ever, but for many, it's the breeding ground for varying degrees of anxiety and dread. You see, most families aren't as idyllic as the Brady Bunch or the immaculate Roys of Succession; they're a mixed bag of already-brushed-together wholesomeness and epically dysfunctional drama. But when you throw grandma, grandpa, the grown kids, sugared-up grandkids, and the occasional tipsy relative into your most spacious kitchen, things quickly heat up - especially when the turkey resembles something from an Egyptian sarcophagus, and the green bean casserole is still waiting to assemble.

The Culprit: Our Warped Expectations

We all have our ideal holiday vision stored away in our heads. Some are plucked straight from pop culture, while others are hazy memories imprinted upon us from yesteryears that have been smoothed over by time, leaving none of the jagged edges from the actual event. Some Martha Stewart-inspired shining exemplars of culinary and aesthetic perfection abound, but no two visions are the same. Assemble this motley crew into a single kitchen, and you're headed for failure, especially when combined with old grudges and a few holiday cocktails.

Strategies to Sail Through Holiday Storms

'Hush Hush' on Sensitive Topics

Every family has its list of off-limit topics that, when discussed, can send tensions soaring and wooden spoons flying. If you can't reach unanimous consensus on avoiding these hot-button issues, come prepared with alternative talking points, questions, and jokes to steer the conversation away from the precipice. Timing is crucial here—a well-timed spill can work wonders!

Avoid Being the Holiday Villain

Life is hard enough without becoming the focus of everyone's scorn. Try your best not to take things personally, remembering that each person has their own struggles, blind spots, and flaws. When someone lashes out with a misguided joke or remark that hits a little too close to home, apologize sincerely. Don't hastily dismiss their feelings with lame comebacks like "it was just a joke" or "get over it."

Keeping It Casual

Stay busy during family gatherings by offering to help in any way possible. Take the kids outside, set the table, or run to the corner store for more Redi-Whip. The point here is to keep moving and avoid being the static target.

Taking a Timeout

If you find yourself feeling tense or overwhelmed during family gatherings, take a break. Step outside for a moment, meditate, or give yourself a pep talk. Remember why you're there—to celebrate your shared history and reaffirm connections with your kinfolk.

Books to Make Your Family Look Sane

For those families who teeter on the edge of sanity, here's a list of books featuring families that'll make you grateful for your unruly brood.

Geek Love by Katherine Dunn
Running With Scissors by Augusten Burroughs
Where'd You Go, Bernadette by Maria Semple
The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls

When It's Time to Bow Out

For some, this season brings forth a reality closer to the Roys than the Bradys. If your family interactions trigger mental or physical health concerns, it's okay to sit this one out. Putting your well-being at risk is not worth it.

The Wrap-Up

While families can be a source of endless joy, they can also bring out our darker selves and our deepest insecurities. By following these strategies, you can navigate the chaotic waters of family gatherings and emerge entwined with your loved ones, cherishing the memories you've shared. And if all else fails, remember that there's a world full of dysfunctional families out there who'd gladly trade places with you!

Strategies to Maintain Composure During Family Gatherings during Holidays